My Mom died in 1998. It will be 20 years this summer. There are days when I really miss her. Today is one of those days and for the oddest reason. Bon-Ton is going out of business. Why would that make me sad and miss her so much?
My Mom worked at one of the many department stores owned by Bon-Ton. She loved her store. She worked in the fine china department, it was her baby. I went to my local Bon-Ton store today, (one she never even stepped foot in) and all I feel is dismay.
There are things just piled in heaps, garish signs hanging every where and in the middle of a Wednesday not all that many people. I am so glad she is not here to be part of this. It would break her heart to see something she loved going down in flames.
Then I watched the Christmas episode of Kevin Probably Saves the World and they were playing the song Christmas Eve 1913 by John Denver. I cry every time I hear this song anyway and today it was just the frosting on the cake. If this were a piece of paper the ink would be running so much from my tears you wouldn’t be able to read it.
Silly I know; a store I don’t shop at much because it is so expensive and a TV show that has been cancelled. The closing of the store is sad for so many reasons: the loss of jobs, the loss of aspiration, the loss of shopping, etc. Bon-Ton was expensive. It was one of those places people aspired and worked towards being able to afford to shop there.
Kevin Probably Saves the World is just a nice show about someone doing nice things for people. I like it. I know not that many people do – obviously because they cancelled it. But for what is was they did a good job and the message couldn’t have come at a better time. People are so mean these days.
But the combination of wandering around the store and watching that show with that song has made me very melancholy. I have cried my eyes out. I am wallowing in my sadness for a little while longer. Then I will listen to the birds singing outside and enjoy my flowers and the sunshine and get on with my day.
I will always miss my parents. That is how you know they lived good lives. Because at odd times people remember and miss them. And my Mom and my Dad were good people.
I hope that when those random moments of grief for the oddest reasons happen for you, you take a moment to wallow in the feeling. Shed a few tears, remember your loved ones, and then pick yourself up and get on with your day. I am pretty sure that is what my Mom would want me to do. That is why I miss her even now 20 years later.
Happy thoughts for a happy day!
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