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Archive for December, 2017

I went and saw my Dad yesterday. As much as he dislikes it he is doing much better living at the nursing home. His color was good and he even looks like his weight is stabilizing. I hope he gains some of the weight he has lost back.

One of my brothers and two of his daughters were there while I was there. That definitely perked my dad right up. He said he was feeling pretty good but his memory was getting worse. We said that is one of the reasons we need him to stay there. It will help him keep what memories he has.

I got him a note book and some colored pens to write his memories in. He can use it as an organizer for all of the pieces of paper that he is trying to keep track of. I told him to get some tape and tape them into the notebook. I don’t know if he will but I hope he does.

Two young couples have looked at his house and we will have a second offer on it today. I don’t know if I am ready for this. It has only been on the market a week and offers already. Selling the house is so permanent. I know that there is no way Dad can ever live by himself again. He just isn’t healthy enough. But selling the house means time is running short.

I am 50+ years old and my Dad has been in ill health for a lot of years. My Mom has been dead for almost 20 years. I am not ready to be an orphan. Hubby makes fun of me when I say this but both of his parents are still alive. I am not ready to be the oldest generation in my family. Not that any of us have a choice, time marches on whether we want it to or not.

This coming weekend Navy Girl and family, Army Girl and family, Air Force Girl and family, and Hubby and I will all be together for the first time since 2011. When I am with my grandchildren I keep thinking how much my Mom would have loved her great-grandkids. I think about how my Dads illness is robbing him from knowing them.

I know I am very lucky. My Dad is well taken care of. The house selling quickly will be a blessing; we will be able to keep him in a private room longer. Life is short so hug your loved ones.

Happy thoughts for a happy day!

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I had a job interview a couple of weeks ago and something about it is still bugging me. The person who I interviewed with said he was impressed with my credentials, liked work I had done in the past and thought I was very smart. All good things so far, then he said he didn’t think I was creative enough.

Wait? What? How do you prove that you are creative enough? It is like trying to prove a negative, you can’t really do it. By not giving me the chance to show them what I can do for them they denied me the chance to show what I can do.

When I was in college taking a physics class when we started working with irrational numbers the professor said to think of it as going through the looking-glass like Alice in Wonderland. Use of your imagination and some creative thinking help you understand irrational numbers. When he said he didn’t think I was creative enough I felt like I had been left behind when everyone else went through the looking-glass. Denied the chance for an adventure through wonderland.

Creativity is so subjective. Everyone has their own personal definition of what is creative. Some people think rap is creative, some people thing Jackson Pollack was creative, some people think that IM Ping was creative that all are right and wrong. It just depends on each persons likes and dislikes.

I am really disappointed that my version of creativity and the hiring managers were not on the same wave length. I will not let one persons opinion derail my search or my version of creativity.

Happy thoughts for a happy day!

 

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It has been a stressful fall. My dad (Gpa) has moved into a nursing home. We had been looking at assisted living places when his health took a drastic downturn. We, my siblings and I, were lucky that he didn’t fall and break anything or set anything on fire, etc. He just got very sick and went from sort of mostly functioning to not.

We have been getting his house ready to sell. This is a lot more complicated that we all anticipated. All five of us were able to get together in early November to begin the process of cleaning out the house. It has been eye-opening. My parents kept a lot of paper. We found tax returns as far back as 1971. We sent 6-8 leaf bags of burnables with M. Luckily she was able to burn them or we would still be shredding. We filled up a big dumpster, donated many items, gave away things and all of us have many things to find homes for in our houses.

His house is small so would be perfect as a first house for someone. The problem is for first time home owners the house has to have no peeling paint anywhere. B and I spent a few days in the basement finishing cleaning it out and scraping the floor, throwing away even more empty boxes and broken things. G was able to get the walls painted and M took more things out to the dumpster. I hope we are close to being ready to put it up for sale.

My dad looks very small these days when I go to see him. He is very unwillingly adjusting to living at the nursing home. He has been very angry, very confused, depressed and sometimes happy and accepting. We have been angry, confused, worried, and relieved that he is somewhere safe.

This is not how any of wanted this to go. In a perfect world he could have made gradual transitions into assisted living then as the disease progressed he could have gone to the nursing home. However, my Dads disease, COPD, is pretty insidious.

Don’t be fooled by the commercials on TV, they lie. They act like COPD is just a small inconvenience when in reality it is a horrible, horrible disease that robs a person of their ability to breathe. As you lose this ability it affects your memory, your balance, your life.

My Dad’s illness has affected all of us. The effects will be felt for many years. All of our children have seen his struggle and I am happy to say most of them will never smoke. But it is a sad ending to a formerly very active life.

The good news is while we have our prickly moments the five of us are on the same page and seem to work well together. Which is good because he will get worse and we need to be able to lean on each other.

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