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Archive for August, 2013

I am lucky. My girls were too “grown up” to subject me to Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, so aside from “news” stories about her I have never had to deal with the worship. Thank goodness! Because now I don’t have to deal with the fall from grace either. I have never understood hero worship to that extent. There are very few people that I would be screaming about and obsessed with . . . actually there are none. Maybe it is my natural Midwestern reticence that makes me incapable of that type of stalkerish behavior.

It is so hard to grow up, and when you are in the public eye I am pretty sure it is even harder. My girls all went through their painful growing up stages. They had to, that is their job, to grow up and find out who they are. Whether it is being in every type of extra-curricular activity known to man, dyeing your hair a rainbow of colors, or flat out refusing to go to practice and still kicking it in competition, all kids have to go through this painful period.

And is it painful! Not just for the children going through it but their parents, siblings, other family members, friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers also. At all stages of life especially childhood there are “growing pains” that need to be dealt with. Whether it is a toddler learning to do things on their own and getting into everything in the process or a 5 year old picking out their own clothes for school and wearing the same outfit every day or a 15 year old being so crabby in the mornings you can’t talk to them, all of these stages have to be gone through to raise the child up to be the decent human being we all want them to be.

The military helped my girls find out who they are or even who they are not. Thankfully, not on a world stage for everyone to judge and criticize. Eventually Miley Cyrus will get to that stage. Right now she is still figuring it out.

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I had a bit of a surreal moment this weekend. On Sunday morning I was reflecting on the nice quiet weekend Hubby and I had. Friday we walked to one of the local restaurants had dinner stopped at one of the other watering holes and then walked home. Saturday Hubby worked for a while in the morning and then we walked up to a car show held at this really nice park not too far from our home. Then a leisurely rest of the day ended by watching football on TV. It was a nice peaceful day.

Where the surreal part comes in is in watching the news.  During that time where we were having fun and relaxation, Idaho is on fire, Egypt has erupted into chaos and more than 100 people were killed, 5 people were shot in the big city adjacent to the small town we live in and as always there are people starving. It really put in perspective just how lucky I am, how lucky we all are.

I don’t know if it will change much in my immediate life. Having this awareness that I am truly blessed it makes me more reflective and I very much want and try to help whenever possible. I guess that is really all that we can ask for isn’t it? To try to help whenever possible?

Any way that was my surreal moment.

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I am procrastinating. I have homework to do and I just have zero desire to do it. I can’t put it off much longer, both classes are due on Sunday and I don’t want to spend the weekend doing homework. But I have had this idea for a blog rolling around in my head for a few weeks and it needs to get out so . . .

You can never know what is going on in another person’s life 100%. Even when you live with them there are always things that you just don’t share. It isn’t anything personal, you just can’t tell everyone 100% of things because often times you aren’t paying attention to the tiny details of your own life.  The only people who know about your life are the ones living it, and then only what you decide to tell.

Here is an example: a Friend is very unhappy with their life, they don’t like their job, they don’t have the things they think they should or that others have, they are just generally unhappy. The friend looks at Person A’s life and sees that they are happy and have some of the things that Friend wants. Friend assumes that because Person A is happy their life is perfect. Person A has a loving husband who makes pretty good money but he works a lot, partly because he likes to work and partly because Person A has been out of a job for 6 months. Friend doesn’t see the struggles that Person A and family are going through she only sees that Person A is happy. She doesn’t see the worries about money or that depression that comes with unemployment, she doesn’t see that most of the “things” that Person A has are older but well taken care of. She only looks through the lens of her own unhappiness and want – is so busy comparing her life to what she thinks Person A’s life is like that she doesn’t see the real story.

Another example: my friend S has a grown up stepchild that she doesn’t get along with. There are many resentments that have evolved over time, so much so that S can hardly say stepchild’s name without their being anger in it. I see my friend S’s unhappiness and disappointment and hurt but I also see her hanging on to her anger. I keep thinking and someday I will get up the courage to ask her, what would happen if you let all go? All the anger, hurt, unhappiness and disappointment, what if instead you just said “Stepchild your dad loves you and that is a good thing. You and I may never like each other and that is ok.” And then just let it go. Now as I said before, you never know what is going in someone else’s life and what works for one person will not work for all. It is just the nature of life and the nature of people.

We all have frustration, anger, hurt, doubt and myriad other emotions all roiling around in us. We are all entitled to those feelings. What we do with them, how we decide to see the world is our choice. What we let the world see is also our choice. I personally almost always choose to look at life with happiness. I almost never tell anyone everything. Just remember you don’t know what is going on in other people’s lives. Take a minute to choose to see the good, some days it takes more than a few minutes to find the good but it is usually there.

As always – Happy thoughts for a happy day!

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