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Archive for May, 2017

I have hope

I have hope. Even as I sit here with tears running down my face I still have hope. I have to, there isn’t an alternative. Giving up hope means giving up, I am not quite ready to do that.

I will cry and feel sorry for myself for a little while, I will wallow in the pain that comes from being rejected. I will beat myself up and probably whine a lot. I will sit and stare off into space and just be for a while. I might eat some ice cream, although right now I feel more like throwing up.

I will question everyone “What is wrong with me? Why don’t they want me?” Usually people answer “Nothing, nothing is wrong with you.” Right now I don’t solve the problem they think they have.

Later I will start to put it past me. I will wipe my tears, I will quit wallowing in my misery, I will have the ice cream, then I will get on with the search. I will continue to work and hope, there isn’t any other option.

Definition of hope

#hope  #merriamwebster

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Happy May, so many fun things happen in May. There is May Day (May 1)

Hooray, Hooray it’s the First of May,

. . .outside begins today!

I guess I won’t say the whole saying, you never know who is reading.  😉

 

Mother’s Day is May 14, always a bittersweet day for me. My Mom has been gone for such a long time so that is the bitter, but my darling girls are doing such a great job as Mom’s and that is the sweet. Being a grandparent is by far the best thing ever.

 

It makes me really sad, the amount things my Mom has missed. A bunch of grandkids, now two handfuls of great-grandkids, weddings, graduations, life, so much life.  None of us know how many days we have in this life. Please try to enjoy something everyday. I know somedays it is very hard to do but please try.

 

The best thing about May is I will get to see everyone of my girls this month. The military is cooperating so far, so we have a bit of ability to plan visits! Let us all hope that things settle down so that we can keep them all.

 

In the mean time I am ever so grateful for modern technology. I can get text messages, phone calls and even video calls from my girls frequently. Things my Mom would have used frequently, I am sure. I talked to my Mom everyday. It has been almost 19 years and I still miss picking up the phone to talk to her.

 

Hug your kids and enjoy this very month.

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