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Archive for December, 2014

Let me start thishappy holidays by saying I say “Happy Holiday Season” when talking with people. I like to be inclusive of all people.  With so many religions in this world and so many of them having major events at this time of the year I want people to know I wish them happiness during all of it.

The Holiday Season is always fraught with pitfalls. They come in a lot of different guises: There are the I will get in your face if say anything other than Merry Christmas people, there are the I will get in your face if you say Merry Christmas people, there are the I am so stressed because everything has to be perfect people, there are the I am so stressed because I have to do everything people, there are the I am so stressed because Christmas has become so materialistic and I can’t keep up people, and there are the rest of us.

A long time ago I gave up worrying that everything had to be perfect. Nothing ever is. There will always be some glitch, someone will spill the punch, the weather will get bad and people will not be able to make the trip, and people will catch some form of the creeping crud and will hopefully stay home. This is the season to be grateful for not what we have but who we have.

I like this time of year because despite the materialism, the giving season gives me hope. This is the one time of the year a majority of people stop thinking only of themselves and give a few moments thought to others. Charity giving increases, people in general are nicer (unless there is a sale on some popular item then forget it the gloves are off), and going into the new year people are more optimistic.

So Happy Holiday Season may you be as happy and successful as you want to be in the new year.

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Hubby and I celebrated an almost milestone anniversary recently. We haven’t made it to the silver or gold ones but we are slowly accumulating years and in the not too distant future we will be. There are days when I look back and think WOW! I can’t believe we have made it this long. And there are days when I look back and think wow. . . I can’t believe we have made it this long!

As I said not too long ago marriage is hard work. Not every minute is pure bliss. Not every minute is pure torture. But every minute has contributed to who we are and where we are. We have learned to pick our battles and even those are few and far between. I would like him to be more romantic and he would probably like me to be less bitchy.

But here is the thing, if we were those things, him more romantic and me less bitchy we wouldn’t be us. We wouldn’t have what works for us. It would be completely different because we would be different people.

Is he going to write me love letters? NO. What he does do is make sure I am safe. He checks the oil on my car and the pressure in my tires before I go on a trip. He locks the door when he leaves to make sure I am safe. He takes me to appointments at night because he knows I don’t like to go by myself, especially the first time somewhere. In his way these are the love letters he sends me every day.

Am I going to be less bitchy? Maybe.  I try that on a daily basis. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, and some days I just can’t help it. Those days I do feel badly by the way. I hope I make him feel loved and appreciated, because he definitely is.

So happy anniversary to my hubby, I am looking forward to accumulating a quite a few more years with you.

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I have been thinking about my mom a lot today. I am not sure why, it isn’t a “special” day in our family, no birthdays, anniversaries or other events that I am aware of. She just seems to be on my mind. I miss her a lot.

I think it may be a combination of Christmas music and hand writing. Odd combination I know, I have very similar handwriting to my mother’s when I slow down and write nicely. Plus I have Christmas music on while I do my research. So the combination has me wishing I could pick up the phone and talk with her. If your mom is around you should pick up the phone and call her.

There are times when certain Christmas songs make me cry. It doesn’t have any rhyme or reason, it isn’t every time. I am not sure why today it is affecting me so much. It is sunny today for the first time in a week and it just seems to be a random Thursday.  Silly. Sigh.

Today’s weepy song seems to be “Do you hear what I hear.” I can still hear my mom playing that song on the piano and singing it in her nice contralto voice. She had such beautiful hands for playing the piano, nice long fingers and lovely fingernails.

I miss her. But life is good and I try not to dwell on it too much. Just some days are a little weepier than others. Call your mother 🙂

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I have said this before and I am saying it again. Marriage is hard work. Trying to get two distinct personalities to cohabitate, cooperate and coexist is really hard work. To me the rewards are worth it.

Sometimes though we get so caught up in the “shoulds”, he should help around the house more, she should nag less, he should get a better job, she should get a better job. The other person should know what I am thinking at all times. We all have these moments where we get so bogged down in the “shoulds” we forget why we love the person in the first place.

Sometimes we get caught up in the “ifs”, if he loved me he would do (put your personal preference here), if she loved me she would know (put your personal preference here). We all have those moments. We expect the people we love and who love us to be mind readers. There are very few of those types of people in the world and most who claim to be that way are frauds.

What can we do when we get caught up in that cycle? We have to physically call a stop to it. Say out loud to ourselves “Stop it! This isn’t helping.” Then we have to make a concerted effort to be nice to the person who is pissing us off so badly. Sometimes that is our spouse/significant other and sometimes that is ourselves.

You took a vow, through good times and bad. You made a commitment. Marriage is the ultimate commitment. It is very hard work 98% of the time. Why stay if it is such hard work for so much time? Because that 2% is so amazing and the hard work is so rewarding it makes it all worth it.

Be nice to each other, hold each other’s hands, say nice things about the other person even when you don’t feel like it, remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. Do these things every day. Marriage is hard work, it’s worth it, you’re worth it.

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