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Archive for September 15th, 2010

I am a problem solver.  But there are some problems I just don’t know how to fix.  The two biggest problems I have right now are needing a job and my dad’s health.  I am working on the first and the second is the one I really do not know how to fix.  It makes me so sad, he is not in good shape and I just want to fix him.  I want to be able to kiss it and make it better like I could fix boo boos when my kids were younger. 

I really can’t fix Gpa’s health.  Years of smoking and not taking care of himself have taken its toll.  Right now the only thing I can do is make this time easy for him.  No one knows how long he has left, but then how long do any of us have?  I still want to fix it.

I have to accept that there are just some things that I cannot fix.   There isn’t anything that I can do to fix it, there isn’t any doctors that can fix it, there isn’t anything I can do.   I really hate that.

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Giving things up to get something else, it is a foreign concept these days.  We want it, and we want it all, right now.  But if you think about it that thing that you worked so hard to get is treasured more than anything else you have. 

Bowling started last night, I hope my team does well, and I miss them all so very much.  Army Girl is going to bowl for me for a while, as she is needed.  Bowling is one of the things I have given up right now.  I will sign up to be a sub here, but it won’t be the same.  But the rewards for giving things up should be high.  The ultimate reward will be a job, the short term rewards are spending more time with my dad and the realization of just how much I love hubby.

We had long discussions about how this would go.  Hubby will come here next weekend.  It will have been 3 weeks since we saw each other.  I do not know when I will get home again.  Delayed gratification.  I just keep telling myself it will all be worth it in the end.  Time well spent with Gpa, a job, time well spent with hubby. 

My girls know a thing or two about giving things up.  All of them have had to put their lives on hold to be deployed somewhere.  All of them have given up college and jobs for the military. 

What would you give up?  What is it you want?  And what are you willing to do to get it?  Let me know.

Happy thoughts for a happy day!

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