I made it back to my place early this afternoon and got the heat turned up and went to the grocery store. I did ok at the store, I wanted to cry around most of it. I so very much hate having to cook for only myself.  And then I found out my crock pot has died so now I am attempting to make stew in my oven. My potatoes and carrots are not cooking well, I am sure it is because I only have the oven at 275. So I took the aluminum foil off for this next time period. I may just give up in the not too distant future and fish the potatoes and carrots out and nuke them. I have decided I need to cook for myself on a regular basis rather than eating frozen dinners. That way I have to eat healthy every day.

 I heard something interesting on the radio today. They were talking about small changes people can make to increase their happiness. A woman called in and said she said that she changed the way she thought about things like emotions. Instead of saying “I am angry” she says “I feel angry” because as a person she is not an angry person, that is just her emotion was at that time. I am going to try to think that way too.

So did you make any resolutions?

I am with the girls for the second year in a row. Now this year I do not get them exclusively but the fact that I get them at all is so amazing . . .  sometimes people don’t understand the math of Christmas. Think about it if we really did the math I would be lucky to get the girls all together ever 6 or 8 years depending on how many of the significant others have divorced parents. I am lucky, I enjoy Christmas as much as anyone, but I believe Christmas happens when you want it to. It doesn’t have to be pinned to a date. Anytime I can get together with all of my girls and their soon to be growing families’ works for me.

As a family we were lucky in 2011, we didn’t have anyone deployed. I am thinking we will not be so lucky in 2012. Now I do not know this for a fact and if I did you wouldn’t find out unless it was announced by someone official, not me. But I also don’t expect to be able to spend ‘Christmas’ with my kids every year either. It would be amazingly lovely if I could but I do not expect it. As your kids get to be adults and as they start to pair up with others you add in so many others, the math gets huge very quickly. And the thought that you get to have a command performance by them every year is just plain naivety at its worst.

Christmas is nice because it is a time of year when everyone is forced to be nice to everyone. We all want Santa to come see us after all. But the rest of the year is just as amazing if you let it be.  The spring when everything is renewing itself, the summer when the heat makes everything grow, the fall when the bounty of the year is harvested and the winter when we learn to appreciate it all again.   The days don’t matter the being with the people you love does.

So we will continue to “sneak” in as many visits with as many people as we can. It is what we do, is it the preferred way of doing things? Oh heck no!!! But is it what we will do as long as we can, YES we will. If you don’t like it, I am sorry about that. But . . .

Merry Christmas!

This working thing certainly cuts into the enjoyment of the sun, but I will take it and be thankful for it all; the job, the sun, the lack of sun, this wonderful life we all have. This next week is going to be hard, we all want the holidays to get here and the days will crawl by and fly by at the same time.

This whole year has done that, crawled and flew by and you look back and say “where has all of that time gone? What have I accomplished? Am I leaving this world a better place? Who have I helped this year? What more can I do?”

Do you ask yourself those questions?  I do, all the time. I was raised a Girl Scout and one of the few things I remember is when you go camping or such you should leave the place better (read cleaning) than the way you found it. There are plenty of things that need to be cleaned up. I am sure you can think of a few right now.

There are plenty of people traveling in the next few weeks. Try to be nice to them, try to cut others some slack, try to smile even when you feel like punching them in the nose. So if you haven’t helped as many people as you would like this is a perfect way, DON’T PUNCH THEM IN THE NOSE! Problem solved.

I would like to know who it is that thought bullying Santa was a good idea. I think they should be fired to say the least. Bullying is never a good thing and showing it on TV is such a blatantly bad idea. Come on Best Buy, you are struggling in sales anyway and then to do something this dumb in your advertising campaign it just boggles the mind.

When I was at home over thanksgiving I decorated the tree there and then on Tuesday I went to Target and got a cute little 4 ½ foot tall tree for my apartment.  I have all of the super breakable ornaments on the tree in my apartment; all of my traditional kid centric ornaments are on the one at home. I miss them.  My tree here is lovely, but it makes me feel old. No little people to worry about touching the tree here.  Or little dogs for that matter either.

I spent the morning cleaning my house and putting out the remaining decorations that I have here. I still have a ton in tubs at home. I may bring some more of it with me next weekend. So now I have a clean and decorated apartment all to myself. *sigh* I like the clean, I like the decorated, I am not a big fan of the all to myself.

I am lucky; this is just a temporary thing, this being on my own. I have a family that loves me and wants to spend time with me. Unfortunately there are lots of people who don’t. Do you know someone who is alone? That doesn’t have anyone to visit them? What is stopping you? Pick up the phone and call them, stop over and visit, bring a coffee cake and some happy smiles. It is amazing what little effort it takes to make someone’s day.

Happy thoughts for a happy day!

There are people who need things, I was looking at a giving tree once and the person wanted cleaning supplies. It made me want to cry right there in the store. How desperate do you have to be to ask for cleaning supplies for Christmas?

This is the time of year when the homeless shelters have all the help they can get. Everyone has a good heart now. Instead of making plans to volunteer now give the gift of your time year round. Go in February when everyone wants to be tucked up warm and snug in their homes; go in July when everyone would like to be tucked up cool and comfortable in their homes. Go when you least feel like it, when you are having your own pity party.

It doesn’t have to be a homeless shelter; it could just be spending time with an elderly shut in, or spending time at the nursing home. Army girl found out recently that old people aren’t so scary if you just give them a chance.

What most of us need for Christmas is the gift of your time.

It just amazes me that this woman is still being praised by people. it is looking like there is a pattern of abuse and paranoia going on here. Someone needs to step in and get Patti LaBelle off the streets and into treatment of some sort. Just because you are rich and used to be somewhat decent singer does not give you the right to assault someone or have someone assaulted.

First service members and now small children, who will be next?

Good luck tomorrow Air Force Girl, I know you will do awesome.

We live in a time of labels. Military mommie is a label, Hubby is a label, old, young, smart, dumb, learning disabled, ADD, ADHD, depressed, COPD, short, tall, and so many more.  And each of these labels has a description with them, a connotation and meaning that people have given to them.  But here is the thing, just because you have the label doesn’t mean you have to embrace it or believe it. I spent a lot of time making sure my darling daughters were not labeled so they could decide what they want to be.

I was talking to someone this week and they had been diagnosed with ADHD and depression. I could tell that they had done a lot of reading about this because they were convinced that because the book said they couldn’t do something, they couldn’t do it. Now I am all for some knowledge about any condition you may have but . . . you can’t live your life by some book written by someone else.  When we are born we do not come with a manual, and someone writing in general about a disease or disorder isn’t writing about us.  My thoughts about anytime someone writes about the symptoms of something is screw that, I am not going to do it. I have a great role model for that. Gpa has had stage 4 COPD for a long time, and yet he says “So what? Just because the book says things are going to go such a way at such a time doesn’t mean I am going to follow that.”

We all have labels placed upon us, some official and some unofficial, it doesn’t mean we have to accept them.

I feel guilt because I can’t be here all the time anymore and every time I do come he tells me how glad he is to have me there. It is going to work out that I am here every other weekend, eventually. I hope. I am here now because the next two weekends I will not be able to come here. Next weekend is my birthday and I am going home. I haven’t been home in over a month.  I miss my house. It is another source of guilt.

I feel guilt because I don’t get home as often as I would like. I don’t get to see Army Girl as often as I would like. I don’t get to see Hubby as often as I would like and as often as I need to. I am not there to help take care of my house, my home.

I feel guilt. It’s okay. It is a natural feeling to have. But I learned a long time ago that I cannot be all things to all people and really guilt is an emotion and a trip we place on ourselves. I am embracing the guilt I feel so that I will really enjoy those moments when I am with Gpa, with Hubby, with Army Girl and the little carrot to be.  Rather than concentrating on the things I am not doing or accomplishing I am going to concentrate on what is happening in front of me right now.

Happy thoughts for a happy day!